Matt Zarley - Had I Known

For those of you that know me, you know that my partner of 11 years died suddenly last January. It was a situation that came from out of the blue and I had no time to prepare. As time went on and the healing process kicked in, I started listening to music again. I started letting it back into my life and learning more and more about new artists. One of the things I learned was about gender specific pronouns. Up until that point, I was totally ok with love songs sung by a man to a woman as long as he didn't say girl or woman or she or whatever feminine pronouns he could find because I could easily subsitute myself in for said female. It wasn't until I heard Levi Kreis sing that I knew how important those pronouns were. So I became obsessed with gay artists and started buying up everything I could. Levi, Jay Brannan, Josh Zuckerman, Colton Ford, Brian Kent, Kendall...it didn't matter I wanted this in my life. I needed this in my life.

So it wasn't until tonight that I ran across Matt Zarley. I found him through a new blog I've started reading called Deep Dish. There was an exceptionally well written interview with him and it featured several songs/videos of his. I decided to watch the above video and much to my surprise, it was everything I've felt over the past year and some change. It amazes me how much someone can touch you when they don't even know you. How much they can express every thought and emotion you're feeling and they've never met you or your situation.

If I had watched this video 6 months ago, I think I would be in the floor as a puddle right now. The emotion, the videography, the meaning....I am in awe. All I can say is thank you for this song and I hope that you never have to experience these feelings.